By MARSHA MERCER
I wasn’t going to write about Sen. Mark Warner of
Virginia and his tuna melt.
His debut cooking video was a hoot, but I resolved to
stay out of the ensuing fracas over his undrained tuna, his betrayal of Duke’s
for Hellmann’s, and his microwave technique.
But I loved Sen. Kamala Harris’s tweet in response to
Warner’s video: “Mark – we need to talk. Call. Please. Your friend KDH.”
The California Democrat’s how-to video tutorial on tuna
melts with Warner as pupil was charming and fun.
In the era of Room Rater, when the home backgrounds of
celebrities on video chats are graded – see @ratemyskyperoom on Twitter -- Warner
compliments Harris on her lovely kitchen. She says she saw his kitchen, too.
It’s an “extra kitchen,” says Warner, a Democrat and one
of the wealthiest senators.
“I only have one kitchen,” Harris deadpans.
He teases her about the teaspoon of Dijon mustard in
the tuna as a “Northern California” addition and, going all Everyman, brandishes
a block of Velveeta and a package of bologna for the future.
When the tutorial is over, you think you’ve wasted 10
minutes of your life, but you’ve laughed. You feel better. That’s not a bad use
of 10 minutes in the middle of the worst health crisis any of us has ever seen.
More than a million Americans have tested positive for
the novel coronavirus that causes COVID-19, and more than 60,000 have died. Healthcare
workers risk their lives daily going to work 13-hour shifts with just one protective
N95 mask to wear all day.
News about the economy is apocalyptic. The U.S.
economy shrank at a 4.8% annual rate in the first quarter, the worst quarterly
slide since the fourth quarter of 2008, and analysts predict a cataclysmic drop
of 30% in the second quarter. More than 26 million Americans are out of work.
Meanwhile, President Donald Trump let national stay-at-home
guidelines expire Thursday. Despite warnings from health professionals that
social distancing is still needed to avoid a surge in cases, Trump wants to see
people sitting “right next to each other” at baseball and football games soon.
After dragging his feet on using executive power to produce
masks and other personal protective equipment for medical workers, Trump sprang
into action to avert a meat and poultry shortage.
About 20 processing plants around the country had shut
down after thousands of workers crowded close to each other on beef, pork or
chicken assembly lines had fallen sick, and some had died. The plants created
disease hot spots that are overwhelming rural hospitals.
Trump declared the plants “critical infrastructure”
and ordered them to reopen. He said he would protect companies from legal liability
if they are sued by employees who get COVID-19 on the job.
That little can of tuna on the pantry shelf suddenly
was far more appetizing than animal proteins processed by workers under duress
and scared for their lives.
I was making tuna melts long before Warner and Harris made
them cool – if the comfort food sandwich can ever be cool. Weeks ago, I
found tuna melts just the thing for a stay-home lunch and have made them
several times.
I’m evidently not alone.
Tuna is so popular some groceries stores have started limiting sales.
So here’s my take: Mix drained and flaked white or
light tuna, chopped celery, chopped red bell pepper, grated sharp cheddar (right
from the bag, no need to grate your own) and minced pickles. I like cornichons,
those fussy little French dilled pickles, but sweet gherkins work too.
Add a dollop or two of Duke’s Light mayonnaise. Not
too much. Sprinkle on pepper, mix again and stuff the mixture into whole wheat
hot dog buns. Yes, they exist.
Warner used sliced white bread. Whole wheat buns let
you flirt with virtue.
Wrap each tuna melt in aluminum foil and cook 20 or 25
minutes in a 350-degree preheated oven -- not the microwave a la Warner. The
oven gives the sandwich a melty interior and a toasty top.
While you’re busy chopping, mixing and stuffing, keep
your mind on the tasks at hand.
Let the tuna melt be your temporary escape to a
simpler and safer time. Enjoy.
©2020 Marsha Mercer. All rights reserved.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMarsha, who but you would pair a recipe for tuna melt with an analysis of our present crisis? Well done as always! Keep on making the good stuff!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dan! Nice to hear from you. Hope you are doing well and staying safe.
ReplyDelete